Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Phelps and the Global Conspiracy against Egypt and Ahly

Citing widely-circulated photographs of U.S. swimmer Michael Phelps flashing a four fingered salute after completing the 200 meter individual medley in the Olympic Games being held in Rio de Janeiro, Medhat El-Ghaby, spokesman for Egypt's Ministry of Truth, who doubles as goalkeeping coach for Ahly, decried the systemic conspiracy against the Egyptian state and Ahly. Speaking to a group of three Brazilian pensioners who congregated at the Egyptian consulate in Rio on occasion of "Free Kofta Day", El-Ghaby issued a somewhat disjointed statement, declaring that "[a]s everyone knows, holding up four fingers in this manner is a symbol of the mass suicide committed by the terrorist Muslim Brotherhood organization that has cunning agents masquerading as Olympians.  This has caused Egypt not to win any gold medals and made Ahly -- which is Egypt -- lose both the Egyptian Cup final and drop out of the Champions League. Egypt and Ahly -- which is batal el qarn -- will not stand for this, end of statement."  

When asked to comment why Phelps also held up five fingers upon winning his fifth gold medal of the Games, El-Ghaby responded "Oh" and then departed.

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