Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Abu Nazir and the No Vote

Local media outlets report that the infamous Abu Nazir has been spotted at various polling booths in Cairo, threatening to blow up himself and anyone around him should they vote in favor of the proposed text for the Egyptian constitution. Notwithstanding being gunned down by FBI agents in Season 2 of Homeland, CBC quotes high-ranking security sources as having seen Abu Nazir icily stare down women at Maadi voting stations.  As-yet unconfirmed reports from Al Goumhoraya link Abu Nazir with the supply of thousands of bottles of cooking oil and rice being handed out to encourage a "no" vote.

Despite the presence of the scary bearded man, citizens continue to bravely support the draft constitution.  "I am voting for the constitution because I believe in the legacy of Nicolas Perodee (sic)", shouted bicycle repairman Ahmed Naggar, while a homemaker who goes by Sakina added that voting "yes" would ensure that the baby of Agents Brody and Carrie Mathison would grow up in a stable and democratic Egypt.

No comments:

Post a Comment